My Hero

In elementary school I was assigned the task of writing a paper about my hero. I chose my grandpa. He was a great man. He deserved the love and adoration of a little girl...well six little girls and three boys. My cousins and I all looked up to that spunky, caring, solid man. To do a little research for my paper I called my grandparents, who were traveling at the time. I asked a few questions and they promised to write me with some answers. They did.

I will always cherish that letter. I read the letter, wrote my paper, got my grade...and then decided I knew exactly what kind of person I wanted to be when I grew up. My grandpa was a soldier, survived polio, raised four sons (who I love), enjoyed RVing and fishing, could build or fix anything, served faithfully at his church, read the bible every morning, smelled like coffee, and won the hearts of his grandchildren (and I presume everyone else who met him).

I wanted to grow up and be exactly like my grandma. No...I didn't misspell that. They always say behind every great man is a great woman. She was great. She had an amazing heart and the softest skin. I miss her perfume. My grandma stood by my grandpa's side through everything. In sickness and health, for rich or poorer, until death separated them...for a time. She nursed him back to health when he faced polio. She created a loving home, put others needs before her own, and invested into her grandchildren, leaving a legacy. She taught me how to set the table and encouraged me when I was excited about etiquette and having tea. She let me come over and dust her house because I thought it was fun...did I mention she was genius? Pledge...just a little, not too much...always reminds me of her. She snuggled me on the porch swing and we counted the cars that passed - I loved the focused time and I'm sure she loved the peace and quiet!

I could go on forever. Whenever I think of her I have a beautiful memory and all I can do is smile. Dawn...as in the blue dish soap...reminds me of her home. Come to think of it...a lot of my memories of her involve cleaning. She taught me to iron (which I still hate doing...sorry grandma, that one didn't stick). As an adult, I realize she was bringing me along in her day-to-day activities. She was including me in her mornings and afternoons. I never noticed it before, but I'm realizing she was probably a neat freak. Maybe that's why I was so at peace in her home ;). Maybe it was just her.

I want to breathe in the smells of my childhood and remember who I hoped to become. She was faithful, full of integrity, loved the Lord, took care of her family, kept her home, created an atmosphere of peace, was sharp as a tack, and quick witted. She almost always won at games. You wanted to be on her team. She taught me strategy, to think ahead, to pay attention, and to have fun. Crosswords, puzzles, challenges... I love them because of her. She was selfless; she would serve us ice cream every night we were there. She'd use the same white cups, have the same vanilla ice cream on hand at all times. She would offer us ice cream, we could help dish it up, and then when everyone else sat down with their yummy treat, she would "treat herself" to an apple. She was diabetic and disciplined.

She wasn't perfect. But in my eyes she was close. I carry her name, I carry her values, and I carry her in my heart. I hope that when I pass away from this world and meet her in the next, that my children and theirs have seen a woman striving to be just like her.

In the process of searching for a few pics, I came across this video I made for my grandpa's memorial service years ago. Grandma's memorial service is tomorrow. I probably won't have time to do the same for her. But there are some sweet pictures in this one of both of them. Sweet, sweet memories!

Two Months of Blessings

Zechariah is now two months old and he’s doing great! Last time we visited the pediatrician, Zechariah weighed in at 8.5 lbs. He’s gaining weight, becoming more and more alert, and of course…his lungs seem to be developing quite well (evidenced by his ability to cry at a high volume). Over the last few days it’s become pretty obvious that he’s going through some sort of growth spurt. That’s a good thing! The other day I (Jeremy) came home for lunch and did a double take when I saw Z sitting in his bouncer in the living room. He looked like he had grown a ton in just a few short hours! It is such an old saying, but time seriously does fly (especially when your awareness of the current date and time are occasionally altered by a lack of sleep).

As we think back on the past two months since Zechariah’s birth, we see many ways that God has blessed our family. First of all, we are grateful for the simple (yet profound) fact that we were able to have another baby. We were so excited to find out that April was pregnant and that we would be able to expand our family. Right from the beginning, we recognized Zechariah as a testimony to God’s faithfulness and love in our lives. We are also really fortunate that Z was born without any major complications or health issues. We know that we are not promised an easy, pain-free life on earth, so we are grateful that Zechariah is a healthy little boy. In addition, we were well taken care of by our family and friends before and after Z was born. I seriously can’t count the number of meals we received! People took the time to bless us despite how busy or stressful their own lives were. Our family and friends also helped us out in a huge way by watching Lincoln when we unexpectedly had to make trips to the hospital with pre-term contractions.

Then, of course…there are the many blessings we are firsthand witnesses to each day. Each time we hear Zechariah’s cry (aka scream at some points during the day/night), we can stop and remember that this little boy was handcrafted by God, the Creator of the universe, and chosen to be placed into our family. As we slowly rock him to soothe him or help him fall asleep, we know that we are not alone in this parenting adventure. We are so blessed that God (our Father) is with us each moment of the day/night, leading us and teaching us how to be the parents He designed us to be.
Recently, Zechariah has begun to smile. Different than the usual baby-gas-smile, he has begun to smile in response to things we say or do. This is a great blessing! It’s fun to see evidence of the bond that we have already developed with Zechariah, and it’s fun to think about how our relationship with him will grow over the many coming years.

Last but not least, we have been truly blessed to watch Lincoln and Zechariah interact. It is such a sweet thing to see how much Lincoln loves and cares for his baby brother. Lincoln is always right there to make sure Zechariah is ok. In return, Zechariah often turns his head and becomes intensely focused on Lincoln whenever he gets close.

As if you can’t already tell, we are incredibly happy to have another little one in our family! We are excited to see how Zechariah will grow over the coming month…and we’ll definitely keep you posted with pics and more memories!

Here is a pic of Zechariah's 1-month cake that never made it to the blog

Labor & Delivery

Emergency C-section! What happened?!?

I get that question a lot these days. I think most (women) love a good labor & delivery story. Mine has a little more drama to it than I'd like... but it does make for a good story ;-). Plus a good friend and wonderful photographer captured it beautifully. So here is the story of our labor and delivery...

 My pregnancy began as "high risk" since I unexpectedly delivered our first son at 30 weeks. In hopes of keeping this pregnancy until full-term, I received weekly injections of progesterone. When I reached 26 weeks, I began having regular contractions (3-5 minutes apart). I checked into the hospital a few times over the next two months to monitor contractions as they increased in strength. The contractions never went away. They would be stronger at times and more mild at others, but they kept coming. In hopes of holding my body off from delivering, I was put on bed rest. For 9 weeks I hung out at home, rested as much as possible, and let my amazing friends and family take care of me. 

  

At 35 weeks and 2 days, my water broke at home. Since it was 9:30 pm, we called my mom to come stay at our house with our sleeping son. We made a few phone calls and sent out some texts, and we headed to the hospital to see if this was the day. Ironically, I had marked on our calendar that next day as my guess of when he would arrive! Jeremy and I checked in to Labor & Delivery at 11 pm... and it looked like my guess would be the day!

My sister, Emily, and a good friend, Giana (photographer), met us there. We all settled in for what we assumed would be a long night. I should have known that after 9 weeks of practice contractions, my body would move much faster than that!

Contractions became stronger and stronger.

About 12:30 am, my OB came in to quickly check the baby. I was concerned the baby was not yet in position for delivery... and unfortunately I was correct. That sweet little head that had been causing so much pain in my ribs with each contraction over the last few weeks was in the same place. Since baby was breach, we switched gears from thinking natural delivery and accepted the fact that a C-section was safer for both me and the baby.

I was disappointed, nervous, and yet relieved that soon the intense pain from contractions would be eased and then we would get to meet our baby boy. The OB said I would go to the operating room about an hour later. 

Things changed quickly. My contractions became strong. Very strong. My pain level intensified. In just a few moments, I went from a 4 to fully dilated. My body took over and I couldn't stop it. The C-section they were preparing for was still half an hour away... and it became clear to the staff that it couldn't wait. 

A rush of nurses entered the room. They unhooked me from the monitors. And off we went. On the run down the hallway they explained that I would be put under general anesthesia and would not be conscious for the birth. My husband would have to wait in the hall. All they needed was 10 minutes and baby would be born.

After a quick check in the NICU, they brought our baby out to meet daddy in the hallway. He stood there with our beautiful boy... I was in the OR just behind the double doors.

Daddy was able to go with baby to the nursery to be evaluated, weighed, and bathed. He stayed there for hours while I was in recovery. He knew I would not want him to leave that baby's side. He knew I would tell him I was fine... if I had been awake.

After about 3 or 4 hours, I woke up enough to finally meet my new little man. He was precious. He was perfect. He was worth every ache and pain. He was here, and we were both safe. I snuggled that sweet little one for hours. 

What's in a name?

Our new addition's name is precious to our hearts. His name is full of meaning and memory for us. His name reflects God's faithfulness to us through life... The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I will start at the beginning: Zechariah. When I was 19 I received some shattering news from an OB/GYN after a surgery to remove endometriosis and cysts and to correct the position of my uterus. They said the odds of my ever having children were slim and the longer I waited the worse my odds would become. At age 19, I was definitely not ready to start a family... So I somewhat resolved to the fact that it was unlikely for me. When Jeremy and I were dating and throughout early marriage we talked about the possibility of adoption and agreed we would love to have our family any way God provided. However, I always held out a little hope that I would get to experience the joy of pregnancy, delivery, and a newborn.

I read stories of God's faithfulness to Sarah and Abraham (this is where we got Lincoln's middle name - Isaac - we just laughed in disbelief and joy when we learned we were expecting in 2008). I also read of Zechariah and Elizabeth and their long awaited child. God promised. God delivered. It was in God's timing, plan, and perfect gift that these children were born. And God has been faithful. He promised life to us. And he delivered!

Zechariah means "God remembered." God remembered my desire for two boys. God remembered us when he chose to bless this world with Zechariah. God remembers this little boy, and we don't doubt that God has big plans for him. God will always remember our little boy.

To the middle name: Anazao. What? Say it again? How do you pronounce that? "an-ad-zah'-o." I love the opportunity we have to share about his middle name. It is certainly unique for today. In fact, it's Greek! And Biblical Greek...This word is only found a few times in the Bible. The story behind it? Well... daddy is in school and happened to be taking Beginning Greek around the time we were talking baby boy names. We came across this word and instantly agreed this was it. No other middle name would do.

One of the occurrences of Anazao is in the story Jesus tells about the prodigal son. The son leaves his father's side and experiences life outside in the world. The best part of the story comes when the son humbly returns and the father embraces him with joy. The father says, "My son was dead but now is alive, he was lost but now is found!" And then the party starts! Anazao means "to live again." It represents that which was dead/gone returning to new life.

Over the past few years our family has struggled and endured a season of "death." We have had to fight hard to come out of that desperation and despair. We have humbled ourselves and chosen what is best over what we feel at the time. It has been a long, hard road! But we are at the “new life” part of the story. Having a baby has shown us just how far we have come. He has brought joy and renewed life to our family!

We are so grateful for this little boy, and humbled that God would again bless us with something that was once only a dream. We are excited to see the plans God has for our boys and our family as we grow together.

Photography by G.S. Photography. Check out her work. She is truly talented! 

http://www.gianasilvaphotography.com/

http://giasphotography.blogspot.com/

24 weeks!

Made it to 24 weeks! Goal #1 for the year accomplished :-). 24 weeks is still, of course, way too early for little baby boy to make his appearance, but it marks a wonderful point in the pregnancy - if he were to come early he would have a fighting chance at surviving. The great news is that I am feeling really good and not having any signs of early labor. With Lincoln labor started suddenly at 30 weeks, and he came within about 12 hours. Of course, this time around I know more what to look for, and what my limitations are. No heavy lifting, resting when my body tells me it's time, etc. I'm being good and making sure I take good care of myself for this little one.

My OB is also very confident that this pregnancy will go to full-term. Each week I receive an injection of progesterone to help prevent early labor. They have found this treatment to be extremely effective and have had very few early deliveries with this treatment. So, we will confidently continue on and enjoy waiting for baby #2 to arrive. My "plan" / hope / prayer is to have this little one that last week of April. I'm officially due on May 15, but daddy is graduating on May 10 and walking the stage in southern California - I'm pretty determined that all 4 of us get to be there to celebrate! So... start praying now for the last week of April for a healthy, full-term delivery. That way baby boy and I will have a few days to recover before our first trip as a family of 4!!! Can't wait to meet him... in April (pleeeeaaasseee)!!!!

The developing baby bump!

December 2012

To back up a little... the end of 2012 was a whirlwind. Here are a few snapshots (requested by Nana and Papa... probably our most avid blog readers... love you guys!!!!!!!!!!!).

Lincoln turned 4 and we celebrated with a small birthday party.

Lincoln is in love with the League of Incredible Vegetables (Veggietales Superheroes)

so he picked that as his theme this year... and had all his friends watch the movie before the party.

Making cinnamon ornaments for his preschool teachers and friends :-)

Baking cookies for Santa... turned into mommy saying, "Lincoln stop licking the sugar..."

then, "Don't you dare..."

"Oh well... at least Santa is the only one who will eat them."

The many jammies of Christmas morning!

Including baby brother...

Lincoln found a "Baby's First Christmas" stocking I purchased a while back and stuck away.

He insisted that we hang it for his baby brother! So sweet!!!!

Then Christmas morning Santa left a few books for the baby and Linc got to open.

MCC Annual Angel Breakfast... with an awesome Mary and Joseph!!!

Our other little one... who loves Christmas and can hardly contain herself.

She always opens a bone in her stocking and then usually gets so excited she

sniffs around to see if any of the presents are for her to open...

Sorry girl! The days of presents under the tree for you ended when the kiddo came.

Lincoln's gift from mommy & daddy. He had several dreams about having one...

He would wake up very bummed that it wasn't real. He was one happy camper on Christmas!!!!

Hope your Christmas was as great as ours!!!

Resolved

So it is the start of a brand new year... always a great time to reflect. To see where you were and how far you've come. To see if you were able to meet the goals you set... or to laugh at the goals you threw out the window in exchange for different ones.

Last year I set (and blogged) my resolutions (click here to read). I don't normally do that, and really have no desire to this year. :-) But it was really fun to look at my list and see that I accomplished all of them... at least mostly. I could have put more effort into some of them, but at least I tried.

By February I taught myself to sew with some wonderful troubleshooting help from a few ladies at my parents' business. I love sewing (most of the time) and wish I was able to do a ton more. I was able to sew some curtains, toss pillows, a drawstring bag for Lincoln, a purse for myself, etc. One of my favorite projects was a Valentine envelope for Lincoln. Each day for the week before Valentine's Day, Lincoln awoke from nap to find a little treasure in his envelope. He loved it... in fact, the other day he heard Valentines was coming up again and asked when I was going to bring his envelope out. Definitely a worth while project if he remembered it a year later! ... SO check 1 and 2 on resolutions within a month of 2012!

In March I surprised Jeremy with an overnight date at our favorite Bed & Breakfast. It was a great time for us to recharge and celebrate our 8th anniversary a little early. I LOVE that place and can't wait to go back again soon. That B&B has many sweet memories for us of refreshing times away, including the quick night away we took during Lincoln's first two months in the NICU. Hopefully we can steal away for another little "baby moon" before #2 makes his appearance (more on that later).

Potty training turned out to be the hardest resolution to accomplish! (And while I have an adorable pic of Lincoln checking out his awesome undies in the mirror, I will spare my son the embarrassment and not post a pic on this topic.) My unwilling subject continued to disagree with me on the need for using the potty. Luckily... just in time for him to start preschool... we were successful. Which brings us to September when the resolution I dreaded the most ended up being one of my favorites. I sent my sweet baby boy to preschool. He ran right in the room and has loved every minute of preschool since. My favorite part is that he tells me all about his day. I get to hear about all of his friends, what he did that morning, and how he loves his teachers. I love seeing him thrive in that environment!

The "do something unexpected" resolution I left open for a reason... obviously that I had no idea what it would be. I was looking forward to even surprising myself!!! In so many more ways than I did the surprising, God surprised me. For so long after Lincoln was born I refused the thought of going through all of that again. I was so afraid of what a second pregnancy would look like, how it would turn out, etc. I was scared! But we were challenged to trust God. We stepped out in faith and decided to try for one more biological child. (I am still holding out hope that God will add to our family through the blessing of adoption some day... but God made it clear that he wanted this baby born to this world at this time, so we obeyed.) I am 21 weeks and still trusting God that He has big plans in store for this little one!

So... looking ahead to 2013... if you aren't bored by my long-winded rantings. My goals, resolutions, whatever you want to call them... will be to have this baby. Beyond that I'm just going to take it one day at a time. (haha!) Goal #1 of the year will be to make it to 24 weeks... goal #2 is 30 weeks, goals 3-7 will be each week after that! Then I will happily welcome this little boy to the world! Can't wait to meet him... accept that I really would like to wait another 15 weeks before I do!!!