Tired But Happy

Hi everybody, we just wanted to take a few minutes and let you know how our first few days together at home are going.

The first night was pretty long and sleepless for everyone, as you might expect...including the dog. Lincoln was getting adjusted to sleeping somewhere much quieter than the NICU, and our dog Belle was very curious and concerned about this little noisemaker we brought into our home. Amidst the sleep deprivation and slight feeling of cluelessness, we've had a few of those moments (the kind where you just sit and stare in awe) as we've spent time with Lincoln at home. It still amazes us to be here looking at this little boy...not sure when all of this is going become "normal". I guess in a way I should hope that it never becomes normal...that would be boring:-)

After recovering a bit from the first night (I would compare it to the feeling I've had after a youth group all nighter), we managed to do a little relaxing. We were also able to spend some time talking to my parents (who live in Oregon) using our web cam. It was fun for my parents to be able to see Lincoln live on the computer.

Today a home health nurse from the hospital stopped by to see how we are doing. She gave Lincoln a quick exam and weighed him..he's up to 6lbs. 4oz! The nurse also spent time answering some of our questions. It was really good to have her come by...she left us feeling very encouraged and informed. It's good to know that we haven't screwed up our kid in the first 48 hours:-)

I know I've said this a lot but we are just amazed and filled with joy...especially now that Lincoln is home with us! Yeah, of course we're tired (did I mention that we're really tired?!)...but more important than that, we're just happy to be together. Here's a really funny clip of April singing to Lincoln tonight...she didn't know she was being filmed until she looked up at me and saw the camera hahaha! But it was too funny to leave off our blog:)

Thanks for stopping by our blog,

Jeremy, April, and Lincoln

Home

Yesterday at 2:18 p.m. we left John Muir Medical Center in Walnut Creek...with Lincoln! Ironically, eight weeks ago (almost to the exact minute) we checked into the hospital not having a clue what was going to happen. Wow! What an adventure...and it's only just beginning.

Finally

Check back to hear how things go...it's hard to believe this day is finally here!

What if?

Although Lincoln still isn't coming home for a few more days, he did pass his car seat test with flying colors tonight. Not only did Lincoln do great with this test, but it was also a dose of reality for us to see him sitting there looking like he was ready to go home. All we could do was look at each other and say, "Wow!"

Over the last several weeks, we've mentioned how grateful we are for this entire experience. We wouldn't change anything that has happened since December 5, 2008 at 2:27 a.m. As we drove home tonight (knowing that Lincoln's hospital stay is coming to an end), we were both struck with one of those "What if?" type of questions. What if we had never met any of the people who have taken care of Lincoln? How would our lives be different? The easy answer is to say that nothing would be different because we wouldn't have known anything else. On the other hand, we realized tonight that our lives are much better because we've had the chance to get to know so many of the doctors and nurses. It's sorta hard to put into words how much we appreciate each of the people on staff in the nicu, but what we can say is that we feel extremely blessed to have met each of them. Over the last seven and a half weeks, we've shared a part of our lives with some very intelligent, talented, and caring people.

A lot of times people make references to angels when they've been through a challenging experience. People often think that angels watch over them through tough times. All I know is that God often places people in our paths to bring us hope and encouragement at the right time and place according to His plan. We believe that God has used each of the doctors and nurses in the nicu in a very special way to bless us. We will definitely miss them...but the good news is that they have an annual reunion for the preemies and their families:-) It will be fun to stay in touch and keep everyone up to date as Lincoln grows up.

God knows way more than we do. He's got a way better plan than we ever will dream of. God knows our little boy from the inside out and top to bottom because, after all...He created Lincoln! Wow, it's still such an awesome fact to just sit and think about all of this. Tonight we had an hour to just sit and stare at Lincoln during his car seat test and it still amazes us that we've been given this gift. Believe it or not, I actually feel like I'm pretty speechless right now. All I can say is that April and I love Lincoln Isaac Brown more than anything in the entire galaxy! Soon we will be bringing him home, but for the last few days of his hospital stay we'll just sit and take it all in.

Here are a few more pictures we'd like to share with you.

Lincoln taking a look at his dog "Belle"

Getting closer...we think

Today we took another step towards bringing Lincoln home from the hospital...we attended the nicu discharge class, taught by one of the nurses. We were given a lot of helpful information and it was good to talk with some of the other parents who have preemies that are close to going home. Over the last several weeks we've gotten to casually know some of the other parents and it's encouraging to realize that we're all in a similar boat.

Before going back to the hospital this evening for trip #2 of the day, we spent some time checking off a few more items from our "To do before Lincoln comes home list". We installed his car seat, put some shelves up in his room, and hung up his cool sun light. It's been fun to decorate his room...I kinda wish I could sleep in there:-) He's got some cool stuff going on in there.

Lincoln now weighs 5lbs. 12 oz. It's fun to see how he's has been growing everyday. We're hoping that he continues to gain weight so that he can grow stronger and stronger as each day passes. Yesterday was a little discouraging because he just seemed too tired to eat but today he seemed to have a little more energy. By this evening he was eating much better and we were able to leave the hospital on a good note. It's always good when we're able to leave the hospital feeling encouraged.

Over the last few days, April and I have been trying to get used to the fact that Lincoln will be coming home soon (hopefully!). We often go from being really excited to feeling really nervous. This afternoon I was changing into some more comfortable clothes...I was standing in front of the mirror when I got this feeling like someone told me, "It's going to be ok, we can do this!" I'm not sure if you've ever had that sort of feeling before...but it gave me a rush and I knew at that moment that April and I can get past the nerves and be the parents we need to be to Lincoln. Obviously we're not perfect and we're still going to be nervous about some stuff. I'm sure that anyone would be a little nervous about bringing their baby home after watching him so closely and worrying about his heart and lungs for seven weeks in the hospital...but I know we can do it. Just pray that God will continue to calm our fears and give us peace.

This morning someone reminded me of a great quote from a familiar movie...I think it's pretty fitting for the adventure we're on: “Frodo - I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. Gandalf - So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” Man! What a great reminder! There's no question about it...we'd never ever ever want to go back and change anything that has happened...but how awesome to look towards the future and realize that we have a choice to make. What are we going to do with the time that is given to us? Well first things first, April and I are going to be really happy to carry our little boy into our house soon...that's for sure!

Here are some pics from our day and a short clip of what happened when I tried to liven up "burp time" tonight. Hopefully they'll bring a smile to your day.

Some Time to Relax

When our "adventure in preemie land" started 7 weeks ago (yes, it's been 7 weeks!) we were handed a bunch of papers to sign and information to read. Included was a manual full of stuff we needed to learn and be aware of. One of the things that the nicu staff recommended was to go away for a night as a couple before the baby comes home. Yesterday we followed their advice and stayed the night at one of our favorite bed and breakfasts in Capitola. It was great to spend some time alone together and relax before we begin the next chapter of this adventure by bringing Lincoln home. We were just talking the other day about how the hospital is almost like a second home to us. It's going to be a little weird to leave some day, but in the meantime we're glad Lincoln is well taken care of and we have the opportunity to be with him as much as possible.

Yesterday, April and I both had some good snuggle time with Linc before we took off for our short trip. He is getting better and better at eating and it shows...he's is up 5lbs 13 oz.! We are getting really excited about bringing him home but we still have to be patient and trust that God's got a perfect plan for our family...his timing is better than ours. We continue to cherish every moment we get to spend with Lincoln and we hope you enjoy some of the picture of our most recent snuggle sessions.

Church Baby Shower

On Saturday our church threw a baby shower for Lincoln... he was sad he couldn't make it, but sends his thanks to all who made it such a special time for mommy. We were so blessed by the love our church family showed us at the shower... and have been showing us since Lincoln arrived. We are truely blessed to be here.

A few highlights of the shower:

Watching ladies sniff dirty diapers (ok... it was just melted chocolate) to find out what candy bar it was. I'm not sure I've seen diapers inspected that well before! There was the sniff test, then the visual check.... and I'm pretty sure I saw a few do a little taste test. "Is that chocolate or poop? Chocolate or poop? ... lick.... it's chocolate..." "What if that had been poop?" " I told you motherhood was messy" (a great scene from Baby Mama).

The fantastic desserts! A passion of mine! Dena's orange cake was sooo good. And Inga (trained as a pastry chef) made amazing lemon tarts, and some chocolate tarts that were....mmmmm.... the kind of good where even I can't finish the whole piece (and for those of you who have seen me put away desserts know that says a lot).

Enjoying my little helpers who were all very eager to hand me presents and help me clean up - what sweeties you all are!!! Thank you Olivia, Faith, Sophie, and Lucy!

Chatting with friends... I feel like I only talk to nurses these days... of course they are a lot of fun, but it was great to see those of you I have missed the past month and a half. And seeing the girls! I'm so used to hanging out with all of the high schoolers twice a week so it has been weird not seeing you and hearing the weekly updates on life. And of course seeing my sister and mom who drove up for the shower. Thank you to everyone who came - I really had a great time. And thank you to Dena for hosting - you are super woman in my book!!!! And to all others who helped I so appreciate your time! You ladies went all out! :-)

Another really special highlight was the prayer time you all had for me. What a sweet time! Judy led the prayer time and gave it a theme very close to my heart. She asked everyone to pray blessings over Lincoln and Jeremy and me. To bless Lincoln with strength, good health, and Godly character traits, and wisdom for us as parents. Every night before we leave the hospital we pray for Lincoln and often ask God to bless him and to have him be a blessing to everyone around him. To give a blessing to someone is so important and has so much meaning. Thank you all for your prayers - they are dear to us.

Here are a few pics of the fun we had!

Beautiful ladies of Crossroads!

One of my favorite gifts... diapers!

Lincoln got a lot of cute clothes that I will enjoy dressing him up in, but he was really excited to hear about all the toys (like any good little boy would be!)

The handmade blankets and hats were also another favorite of mine. I'll teach Lincoln to treasure those things that had so much time and love invested in them!

The picture frames were from Jeremy's mom... of course I got totally choked up!

Time for an update

We've taken a few days off from blog world so we thought we'd spend some time and update you on our adventure.

Lincoln is now weighing in at 5lbs 8oz. He is doing great at taking all of his feedings...infact, today his nurse took out his feeding tube! This is really encouraging and it means that Lincoln is that much closer to coming home. Naturally, I'm sure you're all wondering, "So when can he come home?!" Well...we still don't have an exact date. It seems that many people we've talked to recently have had the impression that once Lincoln reached 5lbs. he would be sent home. While continuous weight gain is definitely one factor in determining when to send him home, there are still other signs that the doctors will be looking for. They want to make sure they send babies home in the best condition possible...we are very thankful for that! There is also the reality that one "event" (such as a sudden drop in the oxygen level in his blood) can extend Lincoln's stay in the NICU. So...for now we are just really excited that he is doing so well. We are celebrating the fact that God has been so faithful to us and Lincoln over the last several weeks. God has heard our nightly prayers and He's shown himself to us by answering our very specific prayers in very clear ways.

While Lincoln has been busy eating and growing these past couple of days, April and I have been busy putting the finishing touches on his room. We've been very blessed to receive some furniture from relatives (hand-me-downs are never a bad thing!), as well as many other items from our friends and church family (check back to hear about the baby shower this past weekend at church). It's been a lot of fun to try and be creative about how we decorate Lincoln's room. We hope he likes it! In addition to a little organizing and decorating at home, we had to take an infant CPR class at the hospital this past weekend. Hmmm the ABC's of CPR...fun stuff! Actually the class was pretty informative...we're glad we went because we were able to get some of our questions answered and it made us feel a tiny bit more prepared to bring Lincoln home.
Right now we're both feeling really excited while also feeling a little nervous. I think we're both beginning to feel reality set in. Are we really supposed to be able to take care of this baby on our own? No monitors? No friendly nurses to call over when we have a question? There is no question that we're anxious to bring him home...but at times it has felt like it would never happen. Hard to believe that it might actually happen. For now, we continue to pray that his little body will keep growing and developing strong. We continue to look at Lincoln and be amazed that God sent this little boy to us. Well, it's getting late so I'll let the pictures do the talking now. We hope you enjoy them!

Time with Mommy

As we've mentioned before, the NICU seems to be some sort of time warp...once you go in, you loose track of all time. The outside world is left at the door and all that really matters is spending time with Lincoln. After a day of getting a few things done at work and home, we were looking forward to going to the hospital this afternoon.

Lincoln continues to grow...he's up to 5lbs. 2 oz. and we're confident that he's going to continue to grow as the next couple of weeks go by. We were also encouraged when Lincoln did really well with one of his feeding times this afternoon. He was one hungry boy! Other than that (and the fact that we're both really tired!) it was a pretty low key day. The highlight of the day was watching April spend some really good bonding time with Lincoln this evening.

Chances are that when most of you get around to reading this update it will be Friday morning...which means that Lincoln is now 6 weeks old! We are amazed every day at how we've been blessed. It only takes one look at Lincoln's little ears, his hair, and his fingers to know that we've been given a pretty awesome gift.

More Waiting

We are beginning to feel like the end of Lincoln's hospital stay is getting closer...we just can't put our finger on an exact date. It's really exciting to look back and think about good he is doing and know that God has totally been watching over Lincoln. As of today he weighs an even 5lbs! Isn't it crazy to think about the fact that he was born at 2lbs. 14oz? We catch ourselves thinking back to December 5, 2008 and we're amazed at what has happened since. It's even more amazing to wonder what is in store for us in the future. Tonight we sat with Lincoln and talked to him about all of the things he will be able to do when he grows up. We told him about how his little hands will one day be able to play with toy cars, how we'll be able to run around at the park together, how he'll get to meet our dog, and sleep in his own bed.

We aren't fools...we know that God is in control of the future (how could we not think that after this adventure!?). But after seeing Lincoln stay in the hospital for the last several weeks, I think we were just ready to dream a little bit. It's weird, we were totally surprised when Lincoln was born early. It's been tiring and a little stressful at times...but in this weird way, I'm not sure that we would want to go back and change anything that has happened. On the night Lincoln was born I remember telling someone, "Yeah, we didn't expect this at all, but that's ok because sometimes life is better that way". I think I was just trying to talk myself through the shock of that night but I (we) still feel the same way. When "our" plans and expectations went out the window...the things that are more important in life seemed to come to the front of the stage. Please don't get me wrong...we are still two really imperfect people. I just think that we'll always cherish these days. There is something special about this time in our lives. With all of this said, we are definitely ready for Lincoln to come home!...although it would be nice to rent a monitor and a few nurses:-)
Keep up the prayers!
Jeremy, April, & Lincoln

Can you guess the theme of Lincoln's room?
Someone really cool painted this for us...
we're thinking about adopting the painter:-)

Our other kid...waiting for Lincoln to come home

Growing

For those of you who are frequent blog readers, we wanted to give you a quick update, but we will make this short as we need to get some sleep. Here are his current stats: 4 lbs 13 oz and 17 inches long. We had another good day spending time with Lincoln. His breathing is good and he is awake more, which makes time at the hospital fun. The doctor stopped by today and seemed pleased by his progress. He will have another brain ultrasound on Thursday (a routine scan that is done before preemies can go home) - pray for good results.

We've appreciated all of the outfits we have recieved from people, and Lincoln is sporting a lot of cute stuff. In fact, the nurses have enjoyed going through his wardrobe and choosing their favorites to dress him in. We were excited this morning to see that the nurse had picked out a new outfit from his Nana in Oregon. It is amazing to see that he is quickly outgrowing the preemie clothes...that once seemed so big. He is actually beginning to look more like a full-term baby and less like a preemie. Please pray he will learn to eat and have the energy to stay awake and finish all of his feedings. He needs to eat, sleep, and grow. We've come a long way but there is still more to go.

Thanks for checking in on us!